Bad weeks happen...

It is Saturday, 10:52 a.m. and I am still in my PJ's, actually to be completely honest I am still in bed. Now I got out of bed to let the dogs loose in the yard, feed everyone and make myself some tea but went straight back to bed with my laptop in tow the minute I was done.

I haven't been feeling great this week (PMS or PCOS, not sure which) and so that has meant a full week of no workouts plus bad food. I have this thing when I don't feel good, I don't want to cook, clean or do much of anything but grump around and lay on the couch watching sappy movies. Anyone else have this urge or am I just odd?

I think a cat hair tumbleweed just floated by. I really need to clean. I started on it yesterday, I put my sweats on after a very long day week at work and went outside with a shovel. I got half the yard done before I spotted the biggest ugliest black spider with furry legs I had ever seen. Even Arya wouldn't touch the thing, so I went inside to clean there and decided the hubs can do the dog poo shoveling when he gets home. Battling spiders is NOT in my job description folks.

Once inside I moved some stuff around, wiped down some counters. Started feeling cruddy again so I layed down on the couch after turning on Eat Pray Love and fell asleep. Now if you know me, you know this is odd for me, I move constantly, I am always cleaning or running some errand or working or keeping myself very busy. I don't nap, I don't lay down for long periods of time and I rarely go back to bed once I am out of it. But this morning I realized it was probably a combination of PMS and my diet. I always get really Eeyore around that time of the month (well ever since Metformin regulated my periods) and when I eat poorly it makes it so much worse. Especially since I am crazy bloated right now.

It might be quitting smoking (day 16) or a cold (my coworker has been sick) or just a combination of everything for all I know. Either way time to clean up my diet again, so I can at least eliminate that.

So I started stalking the Internet (hence why I am back in bed with the laptop) for recipes. Banana bread, Thai tacos, yellow curry and turkey enchiladas are on this weeks prep in advance menu. The yellow curry I can freeze and reheat. The Thai tacos lasted us a few days last time, including lunches. The turkey enchilada can be reheated and the banana bread is just a treat. While for lunches I will be making a recipe I found from Peas and Crayons for savory sweet potato casserole. I have my shopping list ready to go.

In the mean time, I did make one healthy recipe last week and it tasted AMAZING.

Healthy no oil zucchini muffins...

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups Whole Wheat Flour
• 3/4 cup Raw Sugar
• 1 1/2 tsp Baking Soda
• 1 1/2 tsp Baking Powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 2 tsp Cinnamon
• 2 eggs
• 2 1/4 cup Shredded Raw Zucchini (about 2 medium), drained
• 1/3 cup Applesauce
• 2 tsp Vanilla
• 1/2 cup Semi-sweet or Dark Chocolate Chips

Directions:

1. Preheat over to 350 degrees.

2. Wash, peel, and shred two medium zucchinis. It should produce about 2 1/4 cups – it doesn’t need to be exact.

3. Combine all ingredients and mix completely.

4. Fill greased muffin tins 3/4 full.

5. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes.

6. Remove from tins to cool and then EAT!

I just threw everything into the mixer and let it go. I left out the chocolate chips though, didn't have any and didn't want any. Preheated the oven and threw them in for exactly 25 minutes. Except something was wrong, I didn't smell anything and I can always smell what I am baking. 

Blond moment, when I was messing with the timer I accidentally turned off the whole oven. So I re-turned on the oven and set the timer for 25 minutes. In exactly 25 minutes I had zucchini muffins. 

So amazing. I even had enough batter left over to make some again this morning for breakfast. I found my new easy go to breakfast recipe. 

If you are wondering why I am allowing carbs back into my life, well for starters it is only certain carbs, whole wheat being the main one and I have noticed the harder I work out the easier it is for my body to process the food I eat. So I workout hard (most weeks, not this one obviously) and that way I can do things like bake healthy zucchini muffins without feeling guilty.

Bad weeks happen though and as long as it doesn't become a habit, I am okay with it. Time to take a shower, get dressed, wrangle those cat fur tumbleweeds and go grocery shopping for some healthy food. Maybe if I am lucky I will get around to laying in the sun while reading my book.

How do you shake off a bad week?

Finding a place to belong...

Looking on Facebook yesterday made it very clear to me that I no longer really fit in with most of my childhood friends. I watched them wish each other happy mother's day and gush about their marvelous day with their children, while I cleaned up puppy puke and was reminded that I am 29 years old without a single two legged child. My mood got nasty and I become snappish. I even deleted my Facebook application off my phone in an attempt to quit torturing myself trying to relate to friends that no longer barely give me the time of day. They give me a passing glance, maybe every once in awhile like my statuses but for the most part they don't have much to say to me anymore because I can't discuss diaper brands and the best books to read to my little one before bed. It is like watching the popular click in high school all over again, I desperately want to belong but I just don't right now.

The husband got home from work, gave me a cheerful smile and we headed to Sprouts. Where I couldn't find any good priced asparagus or leeks. Gr. By 2:00 p.m. I was hot, cranky and feeling pretty spiteful. So we went swimming. We spent an hour swimming from one end of the pool to the other. By the time we started heading home my attitude had shifted slightly.

After we got home we decided to spend some time outside cleaning up around our yard.

(LOTS of tomatoes)

(HUGE artichoke, eggplant and jalapeno)

(A sweet pepper is growing)

(The eggplant has a BUD)

After that we played ball with the dogs. We laughed at the silly puppy jumping and stealing the ball from the Red dog. We played keep away and taught the puppy to take the ball from me and bring to the husband. Too cute. She really is a great dog.

After that the husband cleaned out the trunk while I turned on the sprinkler out front and did some front porch sitting with the dogs.

Soon the grumbling of our stomachs sent us inside to start dinner. The husband has been begging to make his Thai tacos for years, literally years but I was never experimental with food before till now. So because I couldn't find asparagus or leeks for asparagus soup, we made Thai tacos. He started his Thai sauce while I started the whole wheat tortillas from scratch.

I picked a super simple recipe from 100 days of real food.

and they were AMAZING. 

I will never eat store bought tortillas willingly again. These were perfect, tasted amazing and were fairly easy to make. The only thing I might have done wrong was used a little too much oil to fry them. (On a side note, I really need a griddle for pancakes and tortillas.) Then came the Thai taco part.

They might look strange but they were so very freaking good. I ate 3 and was so full I could barely walk. Something about frying tortillas from scratch, swimming, spending time in the pool and being surrounded by my lovies really improved my attitude. I was laughing and smiling by the time we started cleaning up the house. 

It got me thinking. I belong here, in this house, in this moment, doing what I am doing. 

I belong to a cat who completely cracks me up.

I belong to 2 dogs who are always willing to dish out the cuddles on a Friday night.

I belong to a career that I absolutely love. I belong to Sunday evenings spent making delicious dinners. I belong to the gym and learning to run. I belong to camping in the summer. I belong to Saturday runs with my mom. I belong to 2 kids that call me Auntie. I belong to a sister who is my favorite shoulder to cry on. I belong to my journey, even if it isn't the same as all my friends, even if it means feeling a little left out. I am right where I need to be, doing what I need to do, surrounded by some pretty amazing people who don't leave me out of their lives due to my no kid status.  

Here I was searching for a place to belong and I had one already. Silly me. 

Prepping...

I woke up to the puppy looking ashamed and a big pile of puke in her carrier. So I spent my morning cleaning up the puppy's puke this morning and trying to convince her to eat the big dogs food (luckily she did). I bought the wrong food on accident and it is making her sick, off to the store today to buy her actual food. Such a great puppy mom I am. It wasn't like I woke up in a good mood either way. Easter and Mother's Day are hard holidays for me simply because they are a harsh reminder that I struggle with infertility. One of the many joys of having PCOS. My mother sent me a text this morning to tell me happy mothers day, yes me, according to her raising healthy animals and helping raise my sisters 2 kids totally counts (in other words just being a good Aunt). It made me smile.

Yesterday I spent the day with my mom running. Okay we didn't run the whole day but I asked her last week to run with me on Saturdays to help me train for my 5k in September. After a great 2 mile walk/run she made me strawberry pancakes. She makes the BEST pancakes. No joke. We ate, we talked, we caught up.  Seemed like the perfect early Mother's day celebration to me. Just exactly what I needed after a bummer week.

Today I am spending the day catching up on errands and prepping dinners/lunches for next week. But first I wanted to run again.

I totally need new shoes. It was a beautiful warm morning and I wasn't feeling too sore from yesterday.

But my lungs were not feeling it (day 10 of being a non smoker). I am assuming they are cleaning out or something but they hurt, I struggled to take in a deep breath and felt like I wasn't getting any air in. Probably not a good idea to run 2 days in a row as a runner newbie, so I packed it up after 15 minutes and went home. Today is supposed to be my rest day anyways. 

I made breakfast and started laundry instead.

I thought about low carb pancakes again but I didn't have any cream cheese, so I settled for scrambled eggs with sour cream and some juicy watermelon. While I watch my baseball team lose horribly. 

I have had a pretty good workouts this week. I rocked 35 minutes on the fat burning setting on the elliptical on Thursday, which is damn good for me since I usually only do 15 minutes. Did lots of good weight workouts and felt great about my run Saturday. But my diet has been in the pits. I have been allowing far too many sugars and processed foods in my diet due to being STARVING by the time I am done with the gym each evening. 

So today I am prepping away. Asparagus soup, yellow curry, a bunch of chicken, dehydrated snacks and possibly some baked treats. If dinner is super easy I will go home to eat it after my workout. It is all about convenience in my world, especially with a full time job, chores, errands, gym, animals to care for and a bed time to keep. 

How do you prep for the week? 

Workout Wednesday's...

I am linking up with Skinny Meg for Workout Wednesday. Check her out and link in as well. 

When I first started working out it was a huge drag. Here I am with sore ankles, 330 pounds, hating each step I took. So eventually my goal became to enjoy my workouts and recently I hit that goal. So I am going to share with you my typical gym/at home routine that I love doing.

The greatest thing about my workout is if you have a stability ball at home you can do your workout there for the days you can't make it to the gym!!

When I am at the gym I usually start off with the weight machines, though some days I just want to get the cardio over with. I l-o-v-e the weight machines. I have never had to be forced to lift weights EVER. Recently I had to move my weights up my 10 pounds and it felt GREAT! After I circuit my favorite one's I usually hop on the elliptical for 15 minutes. I found this new fun setting called fat burner, it basically takes you through different resistant’s for 6 seconds at a time. I keep reading how interval training is so much better when it comes to losing fat, so it is the perfect setting. I will admit though, I hate cardio, so some days it takes a good pep talk to get me on that elliptical.

BUT my favorite workout has to be the stability ball.




I must have stared at those balls on the shelf for days before I got up enough courage to use one. Once I did I was hooked. At first I started with a firm your butt workout because letsbehonest here I really wanted a butt more than anything.



Now I have a steady routine of seated twists with a 10 pound medicine ball, sit ups while throwing a 10 pound medicine ball, leg lifts, squats against the wall, one where I lay on my back handing the ball between my arms to my legs and back again.

I even got one for my home workouts. At home I just change things slightly to dance for 15 minutes, use my at home weights for tons of arm workouts and then do a stability ball workout. I am constantly hunting for new stability ball workouts to try and always looking for new ways to tone. I have discovered that I love working out now. I love feeling the burn of tired muscles. I like working through the soreness the next day. It chases away bad days and the grumps for me.

 My next goal is to start the Couch to 5k program so that I can run for Power up for PCOS in September!!

What are your favorite workouts?

Why I started blogging...

Today I am linking up with the amazing fabulous, A Complete Waste of Make-up on why I started blogging.

I started blogging because my life needed to change. I was struggling with a health condition, being overweight which was aggravating my health condition and life in general. I needed a place to write everything out and share my frustrations in a productive way.

As I kept writing and got more comments, I kept blogging because it was great to get tips from other bloggers stuck in the same situation. It was nice to have some place to go. For the first time I didn't feel alone or misunderstood.

Now as I write I am keeping myself accountable, finding other women like me and sharing what has worked for me on this crazy journey. I post recipes, tips, frustrated rants and humor filled stories. I write to cleanse myself of all that was bursting to get out of me for years.

I made a blog for me but I also keep my fingers crossed that one day I can help someone like me struggling with the same health condition!

So why did you create a blog? Link up!!!

Challenge weigh in...

This might be totally conceded of me but while walking to 7/11 for a snack I kept glancing at my bum in the reflections of the windows. Is it sad that I am totally proud of it? Well you would be too, so no giving me that weirdo look. I spent most of my life with a flat bum but ever since I started doing my booty workouts I have noticed there is a nice firm cute butt back there and I am proud of it. I am hoping to one day to have curves as well. I am shaped like an apple, fun fun but I kind of want curves, a defined waste with hips etc. Slowly I am getting there which was evident by this weeks weigh in. (Check out this posting to learn about the challenge I am doing with the hubs).

Beginning of challenge- 4/13/2013

Weight-315

Waist- 55

Hips- 55 1/2

Chest- 55

Neck- 19.5

Arms- 17

Thighs- 32

Calfs- 18

Now- 5/4/2013

Weight-311

Waist- 53

Hips- 54

Chest- 49

Neck- 18

Arms- 14

Thighs- 27

Calfs- 19

When I started my waist, hips and chest were pretty much even. Now my hips are staying where they are at (which is fine with me) while my waist and chest shrink. I blame the booty workouts for my hips staying put. So I have a chance here of gaining curves. Woot Woot! I am assuming I am losing an average of 1-2 pounds weekly, which is healthy according to the experts. I am an impatient little booger so I have been attempting to clean up my food slips in order to lose weight a little fast. I lose as long as I hit the gym hard even with my little treats of ice cream and chips. I am a sucker lately for chocolate. Someone help me!

So anywho, I finally broke down and bought a dehydrator, which has literally been running all weekend long. Apricots, apples, jerky made out of chicken, jerky made out of carne asade, mangos, pineapples, bananas, sweet potatoes and zucchini have all been drying away. The thing rocks and I snacked all weekend long on healthy nummy snacks. I have plenty more ideas for dehydrating things and plan on keeping tons of dried snacks around at all times for quick snacking. I seriously love the machine and might end up burning it out within a week at this rate. It even kind of makes me want to become a hunter so I could dehydrate my own deer meat, well except for that whole shooting Bambi's mom thing.

I would highly suggest it for anyone who is cutting down on sugars and processed carbohydrates. Snacks were always a problem for me, when I wanted something quick it was just easy to grab a bag of chips, now I can just grab some dried jerky or fruit. I bought a $45 one at Wal-Mart and it works great. You can leave it on while you head to work or even while you are sleeping, well unless your kitchen is somewhat near your bedroom like mine, then don't do that. I am thinking of homemade trail mixes and dried tomatoes next. I might even try to dry some of the parsley that I have growing like a crazy parsley bush in the front yard (the thing is almost 3 feet tall now).

Besides the drying festival going on at my house I totally didn't do anything else. I did a lot of laying on the couch, eating dried fruit and recovering. I didn't even realize it was Cinco de Mayo till I saw all these weird Facebook postings. Probably due to the horrible pain week I had. Here let me explain, on Tuesday I started getting some weird mouth pain, by Wednesday I was barely eating and exhausted. Friday came around and it was unbearable. I took Alleve and nada. I iced it and nada. So I made an emergency dental appointment. After some uncomfortable x-rays with someone who barely spoke English and some poking around by my dentist  bam, nothing. Absolutely nothing that would physically be causing me the pain. No major swelling or even anything bad happening in my mouth except 3 super shallow cavities that I am getting filled in a few weeks. Wow! So after some more confused questions on my part she suggested I cut caffeine and nicotine completely out of my daily life, they could be causing dryness which would cause pain or something along those lines. So I did. I haven't smoked since Thursday night and I haven't had any coffee since Friday either. By Saturday my mouth felt raw but better. By Sunday the pain was completely gone, like it never existed. I NEVER want to feel that pain again so I will be staying away from both for a long time.

On top of that the hubs had a wonky schedule so our usual Saturday off together was cancelled. So I worked out at home.

I love to DaNcE. I have been dancing since I was a kid. I have taken tap, jazz, zumba, ballet, belly dancing and a few others that are buried in the back of the abyss of my mind somewhere. I loved it but haven't been doing much of it lately. So I turned on some kick ass music and danced my cute perky butt off on Saturday for 15-20 minutes. After that I used my new to me stability ball to do my favorite ab workouts and then used the small ball weights for some arms, had to up my reps though because damn those things have gotten super LIGHT to me. Feels good to know that even if I can't make it to the gym I can still workout at home now. Since I am currently storing most of my workout stuff in the spare room, I have been kicking around ideas on how to turn it into a spare/exercise room. It is an idea in progress.

Today I tried something new for lunch. I ran out of mayo last night due to the hubs using the rest on our artichokes. So I frantically searched for an alternative. I ran into a bunch of websites that claimed if you mushed up some avocado's with lemon juice and olive oil, it is like mayo. So I tried it an egg salad sandwich.

It was okay, not horrible but not amazing either. It'll do for this week. But next week I am getting me some mayo.

I hit the gym today due to rain. I rocked the elliptical for a 15 minute fat burning session (changes the resistant's on me every 6 seconds) first because there was something interesting on the news I wanted to watch (did you see the 3 women who were rescued after being missing for 10 years, WOW). Then I did weights and had to increase them by 10 pounds each. It feels so good to be getting stronger. To wrap it all up I of course used the stability ball. I am using a 10 pound medicine ball now (was using an 8 pound one) for my crunch while throw and sitting twist. I even did some wall squats with the stability ball. Boy, do those hurt. Well it all still hurts but I don't mind, it means I am working hard, which is the goal here. Now I am sore sore sore but it is a good kind of sore, a sore that means I worked hard.

Hopefully the weather clears up so I can log in some miles tomorrow on the bike for May bike to work month. On Wednesday I have an appointment but plan on going home to start my Couch to 5k running program again, as long as it isn't too hot (I should NOT be saying that in spring), if it is I will be hitting the gym again. Thursday is my rest day. Friday is another bike into work day. So for the most part I have an idea of what I want to do this week for workouts, I need to squeeze some Couch to 5k into the weekend and I of course love hitting the gym a few times just because they have all the cool machines. I found that making a schedule doesn't work for me. I made workout schedules with specific workouts each week and if I couldn't do one due to time or weather or whatever I would just not workout. So instead I just kind of keep an amount of workouts I want to do in my head, so I set a goal to workout 5 days this week or whatever and then I workout. No excuses. I do it at home or at the gym or wherever. It really does help!

I leave you with this adorable picture...

After dinner last night the old dog and hubs fell asleep together on the couch. Both snoring loudly. 

What do your workouts look like this week?

The good, the bad and the ugly...

I have been feeling so crummy this week, I don't know if it is the crazy 20-30 mph winds, the record heat wave for spring (93-95 degree days) or just that it is a bad week. It was the start of May bike to work month and the weather basically made it nearly impossible to ride to work, but next week it should be easier due to mild weather predictions.

Are you riding your bike to work for May? I am, I vowed to ride at least 10 miles in order to help my company receive a total of 1 million miles. I figured it would be great motivation for me!

At least the vegetables are happy with the heat...

(the tomato has like 6 tomatoes and is getting HUGE)

(Artichoke, jalapeno and eggplant)

I took last week off from the gym due to a crazy hectic week of preparing for going out of town last weekend (post to come soon) but that is okay because the hubs gave me a week off of the lose weight competition. But this week I knew I needed to get back to the gym with no excuses.

Monday I got to the gym after work and realized that I had forgotten my headphones (major head slap). I still think that I can't do cardio without headphones and I promised myself I would do at least 15 minutes of cardio each gym visit. So I started with the weight machines in order to put off cardio. I am working on less weight and longer reps, that way I can build lean muscles. After rocking the weights I finally decided to attempt some cardio without headphones. I discovered that the elliptical machine has this nifty fat burning setting, you set your time, weight and intensity, I started with 15 minutes at level 1. Basically the machine switches the resistance's every 6 seconds and it ROCKS. I was pouring down sweat after 15 minutes and I got to enjoy the Chicago Bulls game! After that I did my usual medicine ball workouts, my favorites being a seated torso twist with an 8 pound medicine ball and crunches while throwing the 8 pound medicine ball at my hubs. I am getting a lot stronger because the hubs had to take a few steps back after a couple throws. NOW THAT FEELS GOOD!!

Tuesday I had massive allergy attacks so I stayed home. But Wednesday I was back at it. On Monday I discovered that doing the weight machines is perfect for the start of my workout because it warms up my poor cramped legs after sitting all day, I would highly suggest it for anyone that sits all day long, do weights first, warm up those muscles.

I did basically the same workout as I did on Monday, except I used a 10 pound medicine ball (how's that for strong) and added a few bonus ball moves that I found on my favorite site Pinterest...



You want to work every inch of your abs, butt and legs, go ahead, give them a try. They might look easy but they hurt so good. I will be adding them to my workouts! Each day I am amazed at what my body is capable of doing. I can literally feel my body getting stronger each time I workout. It is the ultimate motivation!

On a side note.. got any exercises you love with the ball, send them to me, I would love to give them a try.

Thursday was my regular day off from the gym and today after taking the puppy to the vet (she was such a champ and weighs a whopping 36.1 pounds now, the vet said a perfect weight), running errands and going to the dentist, I have decided to do an at home workout planned with this beauty...

I have been wanting one for a long time so for the nights I don't make it to the gym. Now I can still workout and the best part was it was free.

I will be honest though, my diet sucked this week. I haven't been shopping in forever and I grabbed whatever was convenient. Not a good idea. I am a little worried about this weigh in due to it but we shall see tomorrow. I take 250 mg of Metformin daily to help control weight loss and the PCOS symptoms, it works like a champ but when my diet is poor even the Metformin has a hard time doing its job. I could up my dosage in order to see higher results but I would much rather do it on my own through a low carb diet. I don't want to be on Metformin forever since I am mainly just using it to help till I can lose enough weight to control my PCOS on my own.

After much debate and a whole lot of discussing with the hubs we came to the conclusion that we need to stick to meat and vegetables, no more processed food. Insulin resistance's thanks to PCOS can be a brat to deal with but I know that my diet is just as important as exercising daily. So after a ton of research, we finally went and got a dehydrator today.

After only spending $23 at Sprouts for vegetables/fruit for the week (same amount we spend at the farmers market) the hubs and I were eager to start dehydrating. So far so good, everything is coming out sooooooo yummy. There is even some meat (we are trying carne asada) marinating in the fridge for 12 hours for jerky tomorrow. It is a little weird to see our cupboard a little empty with only a freezer full of meat and fridge full of vegetables/fruit but I know in the end it will help with the weight loss if the crap isn't in the house tempting me.

I spend a lot of time finding ways to make weight loss and controlling my PCOS symptoms easier. It really is a balancing act between eating the right foods and working out enough. Same days I still rage against PCOS and all that I have to deal with on a daily basis, but most of the time I just try to find a way to work with my PCOS. It is here, it is apart of me, minus well live with it peacefully. I spent far too long hating it and therefore hating my own body. 

Tonight I am making BBQ chicken with a nice personal salad. While I wait for the chicken to cook, the kitty decided to join me for some lounging...

What tricks do you use to eat healthy? Got any good dehydrator recipes? Got any ball workouts?