Friday, April 18, 2014

Choose Kindness (A Random Friday Post)...

There was not enough caffeine in the world to keep me going this week but somehow I made it to Friday. I was pretty proud of making it to Friday without calling in sick of work and without quitting my job and moving to some remote island with no cell service. I worked over time, I worked on huge projects that left me brain fried by the time I went home and I barely mustered up the energy to beg the husband to do the dishes for me each night because there was no way I could move off the couch. My brain hasn't stopped whirring since Monday. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted.

It has been a mixture of good with the bad this week. I filed my tax return knowing I would need to pay taxes this year. I found out that there is another position I was supposed to apply for before jumping to a legal analyst position, oh vey. I gotta tell you the place I work for makes it really complicated to do anything and they have 20 different types of paralegal positions. There are no open exams for the position I will now need to apply for and I gotta tell you this whole process is frustrating me. In private I would be a paralegal already because there aren't as many hoops to go through but I would have less benefits and a crappier retirement plan. Choices. But there was good, the IRS accepted my payment arrangement and my work discovered they had been underpaying me for a few months. And above all, I get to spend the weekend with family.

I haven't exercised, I have been eating healthy during the day but then having a huge bowl of ice cream every night for desert (also sneaking in a few Oreo's here and there). My whole body is screaming to go for a run or take a walk or anything but sit at a desk staring at a computer screen or hovering over a legal document circling errors that need to be corrected or holding a phone to my ear discussing how to file something with a court clerk while also emailing a quick response to a question an attorney asked me. But I only have a few more hours left before I can finally enjoy some family time this weekend and I am really looking forward to laughing and dying eggs with the best kids around (my niece and nephew of course).

But before I go back to surviving this Friday, I wanted to discuss something that has been weighing on my mind a lot lately, kindness.

I have been watching a lot of cruelty lately. I don't know what happened to politeness or smiling but it doesn't seem to exist much. I remember a day when a gentlemen would offer his seat up to you on a bus, instead over the last week I have been pushed aside by guys just so they could grab the seat I was going to sit in, instead leaving me to stand. I don't mind standing mind you, but still, the rudeness shocked me. I see it in other places. I watch it on social media a lot. I have seen a lot of cruel words being said and thrown around. Even though you might later on delete that post, it won't be deleted from people's memories. Honesty, instead of being used as a good thing has become a weapon for some. They use phrases like, "I am just being honest," and seem to think it is a get out of jail free card. Honesty might sting a bit, it might take you back a bit but it shouldn't all out assault you with a cold hard slap across the face. And if it does you should be able to say that to someone without it turning into a HUGE war.

I am not a big fan of being cruel, whether that is intentionally leaving someone out of an event because you want to hurt their feelings (then posting pics of it and tagging a mutual friend/family member) or holding forgiveness over someone's head even after they have tried very hard to deal with a simple disagreement or using honesty to hurt others feelings or thinking that your opinion is always right or grabbing the last seat or even slamming a door in someones face because you didn't hold it open for them. I have a hard time swallowing those things and often have to bite down on my tongue to keep from saying anything. Some battles aren't worth it. Some people aren't worth it. Some people that is just who they are. They are angry, they are aggressive, they are fighting a battle against themselves and taking it out on the world. I do get it because I was there once, really angry and really bitter.

On the radio this morning I was listening to an announcer worry about if she should tell her friend to ditch a relationship or not. I agreed with the majority who thought that people aren't usually grateful for that kind of advice. So often we think our opinion is the only one that matters. It isn't. There are things that happen behind closed doors that even our closest friends don't know about and that is okay, we all need some sort of privacy. I think there is a gentle way of mentioning that something might not be right but full out right stepping into a relationship when someone is not being beaten or hurt in someway, well I think that is stepping over a line. We often want to give our advice without being asked and I find it better to be asked or to share a personal story, most people just want to be heard or to know you understand what is going on. Empathy. You can't try to fix someones problem for them and when they get frustrated at you for stepping over a line, then proceed to get angry. They needed a shoulder, not for you to put on a cape and play hero.

Humans like empathy. I like knowing that I am heard. Why do you think I write about my struggles with PCOS and weight loss? I wanted a place to be heard and I wanted other women with my condition to know there was someone who understands. I know blogging about infertility or the struggles with PCOS won't fix it, neither will talking to people I trust, but sometimes it feels really good to unleash that burden that gets held inside of me 95% of the time. I love advice as well. I ask for it. Nothing makes me happier than sitting down with someone I trust, some good food and a glass of wine to talk about EVERYTHING and get some great advice. But I ask for it. Some people don't and don't want it.

I know that maybe my actions have probably seemed unkind to some. I know that I have probably hurt people with my thoughtless words, especially in the past, especially when I was just learning to cope with my health condition, graduate college, gain a career and battle infertility. I don't do transitions well and there was a period of time I am sure I wasn't a great person to be around. I was also battling huge amounts of anxiety, severe anemia and raging PCOS symptoms, I wasn't comfortable in my own skin and that will make you angry. But I have worked hard to change that in the last year. I try to be understanding when it comes to unkindness. I really try to see things from others perspective, walk a bit in their shoes. I try to think before I say something to someone and worry endlessly on how to phrase things just right. I am guilty of judging. I am guilty of judging a situation before I have the full story. But I am not guilty of being cruel, I don't believe in being cruel and then being unapologetic about being cruel, that is the worst. I don't believe in using my health condition as an excuse to be cruel. I don't believe in being cruel because you didn't agree with how someone handled a situation. I believe in apologies, I believe in moving on, I believe in talking to that person, I believe in giving chances and I believe if you try your best every single day, that is what matters the most. Your intentions.

I have to tell you, in my life I have been blessed with amazing kindness. I have had dear friends that have given me help when I needed it the most. I have shoulders I can cry on and people I can have amazing dinners with. I remember moments when I was having a bad day and a complete stranger held a door open for me, making me smile or even complimented my shoes or dress. It made a difference. It changed my day around. How we treat people when they are in their most fragile state, that makes a very lasting impression. I am thankful and grateful for the amazing people in my life each and every day. The people that share their kids with me because I can't have my own or loaned me money when I wasn't sure how I was going to pay my rent or the one's that have wiped my tears as I finally faced infertility or gave me a couch to sleep on or brought me ice cream when my husband left for 9 months of training or even came out and looked at the horrible noise my muffler was making (and that was after we had just gotten in a huge argument) or even the coworkers that have given me amazing advice when I wasn't sure what I was doing. Those memories I hold unto for dear life on the bad days.

So that is what my random Friday post is about, kindness. I wish I could have written about my great workout week or awesome eating or even given you some new research I found on PCOS, but it has been one of THOSE weeks, so you will have to forgive me. Instead make that phone call, reach out to that friend you fought with over something stupid and don't type that nasty statues update. Remember that people have to be nourished, relationships need to be cherished and you have to give as much as you get in order for it to be healthy. It can't always be one sided, you can't make the other person do all of the work, or always be the judgmental one or always be the one who needs something or the one who makes all the plans or the one who is always to blame, sometimes you have to be the shoulder to cry on, the one who calls to make plans, the one who reaches out a hand when someone needs it the most or the one who says I am sorry and I was wrong. Our actions matter. So this Friday, today, like me, even if you have had a rough week, even if you are at the end of your rope, even if you are exhausted, choose kindness.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Finding The Right Clean Eating For Me...

During March and now part of April I started experimenting with different ways of eating. There are SO MANY DIFFERENT ways to eat and there is so much overwhelming advice regarding an eating lifestyle that best fits PCOS. Mostly I have felt overwhelmed. Over the years I tried Paleo, I tried low carb, I tried sugar free and mostly I just have eaten whatever I want. Which is not how to go about dealing with PCOS. Food is so important when it comes to PCOS because most women with PCOS are insulin resistant. 

"Insulin is an important hormone as it transports sugar from the blood into the muscles of the body, allowing the body to effectively make use of the energy from glucose. High insulin levels wreak havoc on the body, leading to a lot of the symptoms of PCOS like, increased hair growth, weight gain, skin tags, fatty liver and high cholesterol, polycystic ovaries and an irregular menstrual cycle, not to mention increased hunger levels and cravings. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Most of us have many, if not all, of those symptoms." (Source)

So I decided to try the eating styles that appealed to me and see how I felt, how my PCOS symptoms did and I did this based off of the 3 main suggestions I saw for women with PCOS, no dairy, vegetarian and low carbs. Now before you go thinking I am a nutritionist let me stop you right there, I AM NOT, I am simply someone who has struggled with PCOS for 15 years, I am trying to find the best way of eating for my condition and my body, I do discuss questions with my doctor and so should you. This isn't medical advice or nutrition advice, this is simply my story about the things I have tried and research I have found.

"Con’s of Animal Protein
  • Less risk of food bourne disease (cancer, mad cow disease)
  • People who do not consume meat tend to live longer lives
  • Global warming issues (methane gas released from cows, energy it takes to farm & process meat)
  • Higher risk of developing heart disease for those meats high in saturated fats
  • Hormones and antibiotics that most animal meats are grown with are dangerous, especially for PCOS women
  • Not easily digested by most women with PCOS"
First I tried vegetarian. I remembered that a couple years ago (while I was still in college), my Mom and I got into a contest. We decided to both eat only chicken, vegetables and fruit. NO sugar and NO starches. I won that contest, by a lot, it seemed to agree with me and once I got over the massive headaches and feeling of STARVATION, I felt pretty good as well. On the last day of the contest I saw 298 flash on my scale. It was an amazing feeling. I did it with absolutely no exercise, I didn't have the time to exercise. But I also ate pretty much nothing but salads because I hadn't really discovered Pinterest. So this time around I vowed to do vegetarian but have fun with it. I tried zucchini spaghetti, zucchini lasagna and lots of soups. I felt good. My stomach issues were doing a lot better, my skin cleared up and a lot of my PCOS symptoms simmered down. I even had my tension headaches reduced. It seemed reducing meat helped a lot. When I introduced fish and chicken, there didn't seem to be much of a difference but once red meat was re-introduced the stomach issues and heartburn came back.

"Cows that are lactating and producing milk produce a hormone called Bovine somatotropin which is important for regulating it’s metabolic processes. It has now been synthesized to create recombinant Bovine Somatotropin or rBST. This rBST increases milk production in lactating cows by preventing mammary cell death. It also produces an increase in IGF-1, something we already know to be harmful in women with PCOS. It is currently legal to treat cows with rBST in many western countries but it has been banned in the European union. Here are some of the hormones commonly found in milk: Estradiol, Estriol, Testosterone, Progesterone, Corticosterone, Oxytocin, Prolactin." (Source)
Then I tried dairy free. No milk or my beloved cheese or Greek yogurt. I did however still cook with butter and because I don't consider eggs dairy I ate them still. I haven't had milk in our house probably for a year now. Not for any particular reason other than it has never agreed with my stomach. Dairy in general has never agreed with my stomach once I turned 20. I can handle some yogurts if it is mixed in stuff, I can handle most cheese but that is about it. Now mostly the only time I buy milk is for baking with, other than that I use coconut milk and the husband likes almond milk. But I decided to stop buying my Greek yogurt for chicken salads (to replace mayonnaise), to stop buying cheese (this was the hardest for me, especially since I used cheese as a snack in my lunches) and to stop baking with milk. The worst was not eating ice cream. Ice cream has become a favorite desert of mine since I quit smoking and even though it hurts my stomach, I still eat it. Dairy free was hard but doable. The biggest things I noticed were, my bloating was gone, my stomach issues cleared up and my acne got better. All amazing things. Plus I discovered there were lots of substitutes to dairy. I do avoid soy, my doctor suggested it and after some research I saw why.

"When I cut out dairy, I immediately turned to soy. Imagine my dismay when I found that soy has been implicated in delayed ovulation. Not enough studies have been done on the impact of soy on woman with PCOS and soy in small quantities may have little effect. However, I would not recommend soy products to women with PCOS, especially those that are trying to conceive." (Source)

I worried about getting the nutrients I needed though that someone usually gets from dairy products. You know, like calcuim.

"If you’re not getting your calcium from dairy, where should you get it from? There are many other sources of calcium, both in plant and animal products. Here are a few: curly kale, okra, horseradish, watercress, red kidney beans, petit pois, broccoli, cabbage, celery and parsnips." (Source)

I have been slowing reducing carbs for a year now. I went completely Paleo while I was in college but found that the lifestyle was a) hard to keep up with and b) I didn't like almond or coconut flour. Plus I have found that bacon and red meat in general (which was allowed and encouraged in Paleo) do not agree with my stomach. But I was losing weight when I was eating Paleo and I knew it was mostly due to the reduced sugars/carbohydrates. That doesn't mean I don't slip on pasta or bread or even sandwiches every once in awhile because they are convenient. Some times finding a low carb option is hard out there in a world filled with LOTS OF CARB options.

I stepped on the scale on Sunday and I lost 2 pounds this last week. I felt really great but I was eating really clean as well. I was eating barely any dairy (except for a cheat meal of homemade mac n cheese, which killed my stomach), I had reduced my red meat and I was eating no processed carbohydrates. This week I have been working overtime at work and there have been major projects going on that have mentally exhausted me both Monday and Tuesday. So my eating has been crap and I haven't worked out. Because of that my headaches have returned, stomach aches, weird cramps and hot flashes. Lovely PCOS symptoms that come about every time I let my eating slip, even just a little.

So after all this research. All these experiments to see what works for my body and what doesn't. I have decided how I want to clean up my diet.

1. Greatly reduce my dairy (maybe even one day eliminate it), find alternatives to favorites, I have heard that there is coconut milk ice cream that exists out there;
2. Do not eat red meat or pork, stick to chicken and fish; and,
3. Keep reducing my sugar/carbohydrate intake, of course fruit is okay, but no breads, no pastas, no sugar in my ice tea, etc.

Food is such a huge part of losing weight with PCOS and with maintaining a stable hormone balance again with PCOS. It has taken me almost 15 years to learn this and start putting this into play in my own life. It is hard, you start thinking of your diet restrictions as things PCOS has taken away from you and sometimes I get bitter about it. But food is such an emotional thing for me. It has been how I self soothed for so long, that is the real habit I am having to break in order to overcome PCOS. Food is also a huge part in overcoming my anxiety, acne, boils and lowering my blood pressure. I am fighting a lot of genetics here (blood pressure, heart issues, thyroid issues and diabetes), I am fighting for my fertility, I am fighting for my health and above all I am fighting for a long life not spent bed ridden or debilitated by these complications stemmed from having PCOS. I don't want to be on medications for the rest of my life. My ultimate goal is to be healthy enough to be taken off both my Metformin and high blood pressure medication. So with all that in mind, it is time to do what I have been putting off, time to get really serious about what I allow myself to eat and what I don't.


Friday, April 11, 2014

Check In Time...

Every Thursday that pink doughnut box appears on the common table at work, every Thursday I avoid the common area at work and then I went by this morning and IT IS STILL THERE. Sheesh someone eat the last doughnut and throw that thing away please. But I haven't touched it. Not one sugary bite.


This week I have been really working on not starving myself, that way I won't feel like making bad choices due to being irrationally hungry. I am keeping my calories up, making sure they are clean calories though and keeping lots of healthy snack foods on hand. One of the new things I am doing is snacking every couple of hours. I literally keep a container of something on hand by my keyboard, grapes, hard boiled eggs, hummus and carrots (my new OBSESSION) or watermelon. I also make sure I eat around 3:30 p.m. so that I won't be tempted to skip a workout due to being starving. And all these little things are working.

I am really lucky the husband likes to cook because most nights I wouldn't cook if I had to. And because he is such a wonderful cook, dinners have been great. Stir fry, chicken with Brussels sprouts and then I got a little bit of a cheat dinner of homemade mac n cheese with fresh veggies thrown in. After eating the cheese though I realized something, I feel better without a lot of diary in my life and cheese will only be a once in awhile treat from now on. 

(Stir fry made with this amazing sauce the husband created from soy sauce, honey and balsamic vinegar)
(chicken dipped in fresh guacamole and Brussels sprouts)
(Home mac n cheese with Gouda, Sharp Cheddar, Parmesan, Gluten free Noodles, broccoli, peas and bacon)

On Wednesday the husband was munching on cheeseballs (otherwise known as cheesiepoufs in our house) left over from camping and I about broke down right there. But instead I grabbed the hummus and carrots. I will be so glad when all the camping junk food is finally gone. The husband has slowly been bringing it to work and eating his way through it and I have been pretending it doesn't exist.

My energy has been great this week. I think in large part to how I am eating. I also have had no stomach issues (except for a brief episode after the mac n cheese) and no crazy PCOS symptoms. The junk food I was letting slip into my eating was really upsetting my body obviously and the better I feel the better I am about eating healthy. I won't step on the scale till Sunday though, so I have no clue if I lost any weight.


At the beginning of this week I came up with my accountability chart and it is working like a champ. Every time I thought about NOT working out I would look at my chart and remember, below 300 pounds is the goal this month. It helps that the husband has promised me new workout clothes if I succeed. Boo ya. I always love new workout clothes and right in time for the heat.

This week I did week 3 day 1 and day 2 of run training. Day 1 was the first hot day since I started training to run and it was also my first day back to it after a week of laziness.

I was really sore and I walked a lot more towards the end which sort of slowed my pace down. But I was really glad I got out there and did it.

Day 2 was yesterday and I was able to drop my pace down to a 26 minute mile. 

This run training also felt a lot better physically. My lower back was still cringing a bit and my left hip was giving me a little hassle (I injured it last year) but all in all I felt good. I ran really hard and was able to make it pretty far on most of my runs. The husband was amazed, he gave me a bunch of high fives and cheered me on. We decided to bring Bella Rue (mini dachshund) because she had been stuck in her carrier all week (while we worked) and even she was tuckered towards the end due to so much running. I really am proud of my progress. I still worry everyday about actually being able to run a 5k (3.1 miles) in August but I am determined to train as hard as I can until that point.

So far our training has been about distance. The path we run train on is 2.38 miles but we are thinking by next month we should push it all the way out to 3.1 miles (a full 5k), that way we know how much walking we are doing compared to running and can adjust training as necessary. I just found running for a certain amount of seconds (like in C25K) wasn't working for me, each second felt like it took far too long. I prefer to run to landmarks, that way I can see my progress and can push myself a little further each time. Whatever works right?

In between my run training we headed to the gym for strength training of arms and back on Wednesday. Right now I am roughly doing all my cardio outside with run training 3 days a week and then heading to the gym 3 days a week for strength training with 1 day of rest usually. Sometimes I take an extra day of rest if I have plans, like tonight. We had planned on hopping over to the gym real quick before heading to the opening night baseball game for our local team (the husband and I both LOVE baseball) but we really want to get to the stadium early. Instead we are going to run to pick up healthy salads for dinner (so we aren't tempted to eat at the ballpark) and then arrive early. We plan to more than make up for it on Saturday by doing a run training session in the morning and then knocking out a good strength training session towards the later afternoon. Sunday is our rest/prep day and also happens to be clean out the closets to get rid of the junk in them day and our clean up our yard that looks like a small jungle day. So it won't be a rest day, I will still be physically moving around, I just won't be hitting the gym or doing any run training. Which my legs will probably thank me for. My legs are so SORE from all the running this week!

It has been a great week. Lots of working on the things that make me and my PCOS feel better, getting adequate sleep, exercising and eating right. The husband and I have been working on our stress levels, which has been a huge help when it comes to not emotionally eating. It has been a pretty awesome week. The kind of week that pushes you to keep it up next week. Great motivation!

Because only 4 more months till my first 5k and only 2 1/2 months till my first camping trip this summer. 

So how has your week been?

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Happy National Siblings Day...

My first memory is of my sister and I picking flowers in the green grass, learning to fly kites, bringing her guinea pig outside, climbing trees and chasing sheep. She is my complete opposite. Where I have naturally blonde locks, she has naturally brown. Where I am a Libra who is a little sensitive, she is a a hard headed Capricorn. I always joke that my parents got the perfect yin and yang. But we also have a lot of traits that are similar. A lot of our funny quirks are similar and we usually can understand each other without barely trying. I know her and she knows me in ways no one else could ever know us. I could never turn my back on her or walk away from her.

As we have gotten older our friendship has grown into something new and amazing. I have watched both of us change and grow up. I can honestly say our friendship now is better than it ever has been before, but that doesn't mean I adored her any less over the last 29 years. If we lived closer we would be causing trouble every day of the week and completely ditching our menfolk so that we could sip on margaritas and get pedicures.

So thank you to the best sister I got, the sister who has given me two amazing kids to be an auntie too, brings me flea medicine for my dogs, gives advice when asked, listens when needed, gives me a shoulder to cry on, tells me to tough it out when I am being overly dramatic, commiserates with me and has held my hand through some pretty big decisions in my life. Without you, life would have been awfully boring and I can't wait to see what the next 29 years holds for us!!!

Happy National Siblings Day!!!


I go to the gym for one purpose and one purpose only, to lift ALL THE WEIGHTS. Okay well not all at once and not every day. I run train 3 days a week outdoors (if I can) because my 5k will be outdoors in the summer and I want to get acclimated to the heat slowly. Plus I have heard from other runners that they trained on a treadmill, which was easier and when they ran the race outside it was harder because of the natural hills etc. But since a girl can't live off of cardio alone, especially when said girl absolutely loathes cardio and a girls at home weights weren't cutting it anymore. I got a gym membership for the strength training, my favorite part of working out.


The gym I go to is downtown, only a few blocks from my work and happens to be a pretty busy gym during prime hours, which is when I go. It is literally jammed pack full of sweaty bodies. To save on fighting over machines, the husband and I work out together, usually we alternate sets on the same machine. He does his set, then I do my set, until we both have done 3 sets of how many ever reps we are up to. It works, leaves machines open for others and gives us both time to people watch. Which is something we agree is amazingly fun.

But it can be super intimidating to go to the gym, especially when you are obese. It is exactly why I avoided it for as long as I possibly could. Yesterday, during back and arm day, I noticed a lot of well made up women, a lot of huge muscly men, a lot of men wandering around checking out made up women and it was a little disturbing. You watch these guys slam down the machines because they are upping the weight by far too much simply because there is a girl with the hottest heart shaped butt in the area. It can be hard being the fat girl in this sea of muscles and perky boobs.

I used to wear nothing but baggy shirts to cover as much as possible and baggy sweats. I am the girl who moved to somewhere it actually got hot and refused to wear shorts until two years ago. So you can imagine how self conscious I am. The first hurtle for me was always the changing room, I had to weave past all the naked bodies, avoid the mirrors and cram myself into a bathroom stall to change. Then I had to walk out of the changing room and into the main part of the gym avoiding eye contact completely. I had to fight for machines and try to ignore all the toned bodies around me. It was the worst experience for me and I think that is why I stopped going in general.

But recently I have gained a lot more confidence. I lost a little weight. I quit smoking. I started educating myself on how to use machines correctly and lift weights correctly. I bought several bright pink compression tank tops because they are cooler and hold all that jiggle in. I bought compression pants because I could move easier in them and slip them up over my fat roll (if you are obese you understand where I am coming from here, that fat roll either makes your pants slide down or jiggles so hard it hurts to bounce). So I walked into that changing room with my head held high. I still changed in the bathroom because um no, I am NOT READY to show my lady bits to the world. But I didn't avoid the mirrors. I made eye contact with the other women and smiled at them. I held my head high and repeated in my head, "I am a career woman. I wear high heels and slacks to work. I work on complex legal matters. I have a college degree. I have lost 23 pounds. I am working on losing weight. I am a bad ass. I have confidence. I got this."

I used those machines and did my sets. I people watched in between my sets and giggled at what I call pea-cocking.

And even though I have scars under my armpits from years of battling hidradenitis suppurativa due to my PCOS, I still worked my arms and shoulders hard, showing off my scared armpits for the world to see. As I looked around I spotted the women like me and even some men, baggy clothes, trying desperately to hide the fat rolls, avoiding machines because they didn't want to look silly on them and eyeballing the toned bodies that they dream of having. Then I started spotting the girls that were strong, using those machines without a glance at the guys looking at them, there to work out, sweat and build muscles like me. They might not be as big as me but they didn't seem to care if anyone was watching them. Their confidence was leaking off of them. 

I feel like I am somewhere in between the baggy clothed people and the confident don't care people. I am slowly leaning more and more towards confidence with each time I work out but I am not quit there 100% yet. But it feels really good to wear my pink compression workout tank top with pride and to use the machines without worrying who was laughing at me for doing them wrong. It was the first time going to the gym and not feeling overwhelmingly gym-midated. Next I might even get brave enough to wear shorts during working out at the gym *gasp*, just not yet.

Now I am going to go eat my lunch, whine some more about how bad my shoulders and arms hurt (especially since I was carrying around big heavy cases this morning) and mentally prepare myself for my run training session tonight. 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Run Training Week Something...

I seem to have lost count on what week I am on for run training (You can read about week 2 here and why I am training to run a 5k here). Probably due to taking a week off last week. Which I found out was such not a good idea. Anyways, I think I am on to week 3.

I had a list of excuses yesterday I was reciting in my head: It was 83 degrees with 34% humidity. I have this weird sore throat from allergies or a mild cold. My left hip is bugging me again. I don't feel like it. It has been a long day at work. The list was growing pretty long by the time I got home. Then I saw my workout clothes hanging up by the door and my brand new shoes in their box begging to be ran in. With a lot of cheer from the husband, I buckled. I put on the workout clothes and walked out the door.

I whined my whole warm up walk. I did. I listed all the reasons I didn't want to do this and then I cursed myself for even signing up for this damn 5k in 4 damn months. The husband did his usual, walked beside me and smiled. At one point a fluffy black cat ran across my path and I threatened to turn back due to bad luck. It was the first warm day in awhile and I was petrified of running in the heat. 

Mostly I worried about puking or passing out and my husband not being able to drag my heavy body to safety. But I did good. The first run was hard, I struggled with it but the more I ran the easier it got. Yes I was pouring down sweat, yes I was super hot by the time I got home but the a/c was on and it wasn't so bad once I sat down. I ran harder and faster than I ever had before. I worked on really using the full extension of my legs and pushing myself past my normal comfort zone of 60 seconds of running. I also pushed myself to recover faster than normal and not take as many rest breaks. My legs were super tight though from not running for a week and how horribly I sit at work. So I had to walk towards the end more than run, which slowed down my pace. Also my back was complaining but I know that it is simply because I wasn't active really for a whole week. I know better but I can not look at that, too negative, instead I am focusing on the positive, I ran, in the heat, without passing out and I feel good about my progress so far.

All in all though it was great. I am really glad I got out there because I am getting stronger. My runs are going for longer. I am able to breath a little easier while running and my legs don't hurt as much. I think my brain tells me to stop long before my legs do. I try to shut it up by blasting Shakira in my ears and singing as I run. Sometimes I even do a few dance moves. There were a few runs I made it quit far before I realized I had actually been running for over 90 seconds. Okay to you seasoned runners who train for 1/2 marathons, this is amazing for a newbie like me, especially a 300 pound newbie like me.

Boy was my sweaty butt (ew) glad to have the a/c on at the end of that run training session. Wooweee. I just need to keep reminding myself to stay consistent with my run training. No taking a week off because damn do I ever feel the soreness after a week off. I had a hard time walking on my ankles at first this morning but after my warm shower they seemed to loosen up a bit. I was planning on a leg/butt day at the gym but hells no, I have switched it over to chest and arms. Thursday should be another warmer day, so another outside run training session will be happening.  At some point I should probably get used to running with my hydration backpack as well but I figured that can happen when I get a few more miles under my belt.

Only 4 more months till my first 5k. I am so freaking excited. Especially since I am running with my sister, niece, nephew and husband. The group is growing and I can't wait to run with them while getting pelted with fun colors.